Emerge

This weekend I went with my friend Amanda to Emerge, a womens retreat in Walnut Creek, California. I was not sure what I was expecting because it was put on by a church I had never heard of and put on by people I had never met.

When I was in HS I was very involved in church, I was entwined...or so I thought...with God. I won the Christian Leadership Award when I was in only 8th grade. I sang in the choir, I was in the S.A.L.T leadership, I lead bible studies, I was in the VBC leadership and I spent every minute I could in church. It was my escape, my refuge. But slowly, over the years, I lost my sight on God and became focused more on everything and everyone else. Little did I know that would emotionally break me time...after time...after time. I was broken inside and I had no intention of ever allowing myself to fix it. Or allowing God to fix it.

So I walked into this conference with Amanda and I sat down and immediately met some of the nicest, most welcoming people I have met in a long time. I immediately felt welcome and accepted and I had not known these women for more than a few minutes. As the weekend went on, I finally allowed myself to let go, and let God. I cried for the first time in ages and wasnt ashamed of the tears rolling down my cheeks. I became Gods daughter again, His follower. I finally surrendered myself to Him again and on Saturday night experienced the most amazing awakening, where I felt that God was talking to me, telling me it would all be okay, to have faith in Him and everything will work out. And for the first time in years, I felt at peace.

I came out from this conference a different woman than from when I went in. And for that I will be forever grateful.

"For with God nothing will be impossible." Luke 1:37